


How to NOT Camp

by MirreRover



Category: K-pop, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe, Camping, Clueless Campers Taekook, Comedy, Crack?, Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff, M/M, Maybe just a, Multiple Pov, SO MUCH FLUFF, Thirsty Taekook, What even is that?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-30
Updated: 2016-07-29
Packaged: 2018-06-05 10:23:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6701104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MirreRover/pseuds/MirreRover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Tae?”</p><p>“Hmmm?”</p><p>“Please don’t die.”</p><p>"Don’t sweat it, ChimChim. We’ll be <em>fine</em>. Totally fine.”</p><p>Famous last words.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> The story is partly based on the following prompt/ask:
> 
> 'hi bb, i know you're busy right ow but im just sending this ask incase you're free because my mind is killing me lmao. can you write something abt taekook being so thirsty for each other i mean them making out and having sex in almost everywhere (pls include car sex) i mean this is ask is so wrong oh my gosh im sorry. i suck at writing so i can't do it myself sorry for bothering you'
> 
> But for the most part this story is completely self-indulgent because I really like the idea of Taekook failing at camping.

Jimin knows his friends aren’t stupid. They’re all at university together. They’re all passing their classes— to a certain degree at least; courses have been dropped, majors have been switched, but hey, who’s keeping score? The point is: Jimin’s friends are somewhat fully functional adults who should be capable of taking care of themselves and therefore he shouldn’t worry.

  
And he isn’t. Worrying or anything. He’s just... _antsy_. Antsy because Taehyung is going away for over a week and he’ll miss his best bro, because how’s a bro gonna bro without his best bro? He’s just antsy and he’s not worried at all about Taehyung going camping with his boyfriend and possibly dying and never _ever_ coming back, leaving Jimin sad and best bro-less, or the fact Taehyung is packing what looks like seven bags of crisps.

  
“Chips aren’t a food group, Taehyung.” The lines around Seokjin’s eyes are tense in that way they get when he isn’t a hundred percent on board with something and Jimin breathes an internal sigh of relief. Jimin can always count on his boyfriend to rain on Taehyung’s parade so he doesn’t have to. Seokjin’s awesome like that.

  
“No worries, hyung.” Taehyung flails his hand dismissively in the direction of where Jimin and Seokjin are sitting on an absolutely garish gold couch with a psychedelic peacock print. It’s the same one that Taehyung made Jimin help him carry up the stairs of his new studio just two weeks ago. It had been discovered by Taehyung at the side of the road three blocks over and Jimin still feels like taking a bath filled with chemical disinfectants whenever he makes contact with it. Especially after Taehyung told him he and Jeongguk had spent the last few weeks christening every flat surface of Taehyung’s new home. _Every_. Single. One. “I bought like this massive—” his elegant hands quickly fan outwards to illustrate his point, the motion reminding Jimin of a drunk bird “—family value pack of instant ramen.”

  
The lines around Seokjin’s eyes deepen. Jimin agrees. “Tae,” he ventures cautiously, “are you sure that you guys are prepared for this camping trip? Like _prepared_ prepared?”

  
Taehyung chucks a battery operated lava lamp on top of the ramen before glancing at them with puppy-like bewilderment. Who even owns lava lamps these days? Kim Taehyung does, that’s who. “What do you mean? Of course, we’re prepared.” He shoots a brief but wicked grin towards his boyfriend on the bed. “Gukkie bought more condoms than I can count and a shit ton of lube. We’re _so_ prepared, you don’t even wanna know.”

  
Taehyung’s right, Jimin doesn’t want to know and he’s sure Seokjin doesn’t want to know either. But by now Jimin is so used to Taehyung complete lack of brain-to-mouth filter that he barely cringes at his best friend’s remark, merely replying with a half-hearted murmur of, “Too much information, Tae. Too much information.”

  
“Well,” Seokjin cuts in dryly, “good on you two for practicing safe sex. Now that we’re on the subject of safe, did you do anything else besides stocking up on carbs and latex?” He continues in the slightly hopeless voice of a man who knows he’s asking for a miracle, “Did you look into camp sites? Planned a route maybe?”

  
“You don’t understand, hyung.” Taehyung moves to the bed and lets himself fall into Jeongguk’s lap like a sack of potatoes. To his credit, Jeongguk doesn’t let the ungracious tumble into his personal space distract him from the screen of his phone for even a millisecond, absentmindedly opening and then closing his arms to make space. Taehyung leans forward with wide eyes, punctuating each of his next words with a nod as he says them slowly, like he’s trying to explain advanced maths to an especially stupid child, “It’s an _adventure_.”

  
Fuck it. He’ll admit it; Jimin isn’t antsy, he isn’t worried either. He’s fucking _petrified_. His friends are going to _die_.

  
Jimin groans and rubs his face in exasperation even as Seokjin places a reassuring hand on his lower back. “You’re not a hobbit, Tae. You can’t just take off with a tent and no precautions. I’m not saying you’ll run into trolls on your trip but there’s— I don’t know, snakes and… stuff.”

  
Little shit that he is, Taehyung theatrically wraps himself around Jeongguk’s neck as if he’s a damsel in distress waiting to be carried out of a burning building in full bridal style. “But I’ll have Gukkie to protect me.”

  
Jeongguk, always an idiot for Taehyung, actually puffs out his chest and tightens his grip on Taehyung’s waist. “Anything for you, babe.”

  
Jimin groans again. He honestly doubts if Jeongguk uses his muscles for much else but staring at them in the mirror after working out. Jimin would know. They’ve been gym buddies for over a year and can flex their biceps in perfect synchrony. Their team work is epic, all right, and so are their abs. Don’t judge.

  
Jeongguk’s phone is playing an obnoxious victory sound on repeat and he shoves the _Iron Man_ clad monstrosity under his boyfriend’s nose. “New high score.”

  
Taehyung excitedly claps his hands together like Jeongguk just told him he discovered the cure for cancer instead of successfully tapping his thumbs in _Piano Tiles_ like a musical dimwit. “That’s awesome, Gukkie!”

  
There’s a suspicious glint in Jeongguk’s eyes; something beyond the usual spark of his inflated ego whenever Taehyung fawns over him. Jimin and Seokjin barely have the chance to wonder what it means before Taehyung roars in outrage when he spots Jeongguk’s username. “ _TaehyungSucks97_?!” He roughly punches Jeongguk’s shoulder but that merely makes Jeongguk cackle even more manically. “You evil little fucker!”

  
“It’s the good kind of suck,” Jeongguk snickers like an honest to god _Disney_ villain, exposing his bunny teeth in the process and scrunching up his eyes in cute crescents. “No one can suck it like you can, babe.”

  
“Language,” Seokjin reprimands them, but his tone lacks its usual sassy vigour. It’s pretty obvious he’s starting to give up on teaching Taehyung and Jeongguk manners, so Jimin squeezes his hand encouragingly. Not that Jimin thinks Seokjin will ever succeed but he’ll be the good boyfriend and support Seokjin in his dreams. However unattainable they might be.

  
In the meanwhile, an unfazed Taehyung delivers another harsh thump to his boyfriend’s shoulder, followed by a rather vicious pinch, but neither seems to kill Jeongguk’s glee at Taehyung’s expense. Jimin watches his best friend vengefully poke at Jeongguk’s ribs for a few more times out of principle, before Taehyung nestles his head into the crook of Jeongguk’s neck with a dramatic huff. “I hate you.”

  
Jeongguk snorts and taps his phone to start a new game. “Bullshit.” His lips venture down to press a soft kiss to Taehyung’s cheek while his fingers thumb across the screen. “You love me.”

  
“You wish. And don’t think I’m ever sucking you off again.”

  
But Taehyung is smiling and there’s sunshine pouring out between his teeth and the sight is just… _ugh_. Taehyung and Jeongguk are obnoxious and lewd together at the best of times but somehow simultaneously sickly sweet with the way they rub their obvious adoration in everyone’s faces and it’s giving Jimin instant diabetes.

  
Jimin and Seokjin share a longsuffering look. Inconsiderate assholes.

  
It’s not like Jimin and Seokjin aren’t disgustingly lovey-dovey at times— Yoongi, whom Seokjin shares a small apartment with, has left the living room while they were canoodling on the couch with nauseated grunts and loud rolling of his eyes more times than Jimin can count. But at least Jimin never has to be told to get his hand out of his boyfriend’s pants when they all go out to dinner together. _Repeatedly_.

  
“Tae?”

  
“Hmmm?”

  
“Please don’t die.”

  
Taehyung pops a piece of popcorn in his mouth that Jimin sees him dig up from between the bed sheets and Jimin can practically feel Seokjin cringing beside him on the couch. “Don’t sweat it, ChimChim. We’ll be _fine_. Totally fine.”

  
Famous last words.

 

 


	2. Not Testing All the Equipment Beforehand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of the end.

Even after dating for over a year, there are still lots of things about Taehyung’s body that amaze Jeongguk. For instance, Jeongguk doesn’t understand how Taehyung’s voice can sound like he’s gone through puberty at least three times yet at the same time there isn’t a single hair gracing his chest. Or how Taehyung shudders at the mention of exercise like it’s a dirty word and sticks to a diet consisting mainly of items that come in brightly coloured wrappers, but manages to make Jeongguk’s mouth run dry whenever he takes off his shirt. Or how Taehyung can do that one thing with his tongue that…

Jeongguk watches, mesmerized, until Taehyung pulls the popsicle from between his lips with an obscene sounding _pop_. He smirks at Jeongguk. “Eyes on the road, babe.”

Jeongguk can’t be sure, it’s hard to think when all the blood is rushing south, but he has the distinct impression Taehyung is trying to mess with his head. Because Jeongguk remembers saying those exact words just twenty minutes ago —albeit a little more panicked— when Taehyung was trying to work his _iPhone_ full of trot music hooked up to the car speaker system. While driving, that is. On a road. With _other_ cars.

The popsicle disappears again, inch by torturous inch, swallowed greedily between soft lips, and Jeongguk thinks even a twelve-year-old would get it by now (however oxygen deprived their big brain might be). Oh, how Jeongguk suffers.

Like the proverbial cat who got the cream, Taehyung cocks his head and shoots him a wink. Jeongguk brusquely shifts his gaze away to stare at the road with steely resolve, knuckles white as he tightens his grip on the steering wheel. This doesn’t prove anything, Jeongguk still had every right to take over the wheel. (Or to sneak behind it while Taehyung duck his head into a freezer at a gas station to dig for treasure.) Jeongguk is poor enough to turn basic white t-shirts into a look and young enough to aspire being a starving artist for a few more years. In short, he has everything to live for.

Shifting awkwardly in his seat, Jeongguk fiddles with the vents lining the dash board, pretending very hard his boyfriend and his deep throating skill don’t exist. The resulting warm air hitting his naked skin does fuck all to relieve him from the stifling summer heat. It’s the kind of day where the air above the asphalt shimmers like it’s evaporating before your eyes and leather painfully tugs at your skin with every movement as if you’re glued into your seat with your own sweat. Jeongguk groans in agony.

“This thing is melting,” Taehyung laments, waving his now half-eaten ice-cream about that doubles as a Jeongguk-specific torture instrument. “We’re fucking melting. The _whole_ world is melting.”

Their complicated _tape-cassette-AUX-audio-adapter-iPhone_ -set-up choses that moment to do that thing which makes the speakers rattle and Jeongguk gives it a violent whack, spitefully muttering, “piece of shit,” under his breath. He thinks it’s bloody ironic how a vehicle owned by a pacifist runs mostly on tough love. “This fucking car is melting. What are we even doing in this death-trap?”

Taehyung gasps and shoots him an affronted look, leaning forward to give the dashboard a consoling pat like he needs to soften the blow of Jeongguk’s harsh words. Despite the car being, you know, an inanimate object. “NamDOOM’s got character, Gukkie.”

Jeongguk snorts. “ _Right._ ”

Honestly, Jeongguk should have just pestered Yoongi into letting them borrow his beaten-up van. The one Yoongi uses for the rare occasions he crawls out of the hole he hibernates in to spit fire in various basements, warehouses and other obscure places home to their city’s underground music scene. Yoongi would have let them. There isn’t much Yoongi _wouldn’t_ do to get Jeongguk and Taehyung out of his hair. His van is a rickety piece of crap, but at least it’s a rickety piece of crap _with_ aircon. A van they could have slept in during the night.

Jeongguk doesn’t know how they ended up in Namjoon’s decaying station wagon instead (or NamDOOM as Taehyung affectionately likes to call it). It’s the kind of car no one under thirty without kids should ever own. A car older than both him and Taehyung, older than them both combined maybe, judging by the cassette player and the lack of air-conditioning. Jeongguk doesn’t know. He really doesn’t.

Beside him, Taehyung turns his head into the breeze, wind teasingly weaving through bleached strands of sweat-damp hair. The sight he finds makes his face light up with childlike wonder. “Look at that, Gukkie. The ocean’s so pretty.” He bites his bottom lip in serious contemplation, hand outside the window and gliding through the air like he can reach out and skim the sparkling water. The cut-up neckline of his shirt dips even lower with the movement, the strip of golden skin it exposes seemingly endless and simultaneously never enough. “We should go skinny dipping one evening.”

And maybe Jeongguk does know. Because Taehyung had whispered in his ear how he never had sex in a tent before and smiled that one smile which holds a thousand-and-one dark promises and Jeongguk had been the proud owner of the cheapest four-person tent he could find the very next day. “Yeah. We definitely should.”

Jeongguk is nothing if not easy for Taehyung.

Dispelling images of Taehyung naked and dripping wet (impossible but he tries), Jeongguk refocuses most of his attention on the nearly empty road, watching it gradually change as the odometer steadily ticks upwards. Taehyung doesn’t try to get back behind the wheel, seemingly content in the passenger’s seat, terrifyingly lively even under the harsh summer rays as he sings along in varying degrees of enthusiasm with the special road trip playlist he made before they left.

(Jeongguk may be the one singing the hardest during _Bang Bang Bang_ but if it’s not on social media it didn’t happen.)

The stifling blanket of warmth that envelops the car doesn’t disappear from the air until late in the afternoon, when they stop driving and set up camp. They’re forced to settle on an empty patch of grass just off the road, no proper camp sites in the vicinity due to their lack of planning, and Jeongguk can almost hear Seokjin snicker in the back of his mind. He quickly blocks it out. He’s good at that; at the ripe age of twenty-one he’s got years of experience in ignoring good advice and being a brat.

After setting up the bright neon pink tent (Jeongguk regrets everything) and Taehyung declaring he can’t wait to try it out (Jeongguk regrets nothing), Taehyung gets out the infamous family pack of ramen with awe-filled eyes and reverent hands. Heart skipping a beat, Jeongguk immediately makes a grab for the gas cooker, just in case Taehyung gets any bright ideas and their holiday goes up in flames. _Literally_.

Happy to be catered to, Taehyung huddles up in one of the cheap camping chairs and Jeongguk is fleetingly amazed how his boyfriend can turn even the shittiest pieces of furniture into a cosy nest. Like many times before, Taehyung’s next words crudely rip Jeongguk out of his moment of puppy-love reflection, “I wanna see the sunrise together.”

Jeongguk’s hand involuntarily tense up around the newly unwrapped gas cooker he’s holding. “ _Sunrise?_ ” Taehyung’s head bounces up and down with so much enthusiasm it seems disjointed from the rest of his body and Jeongguk cringes. “But, Tae _._ A sunrise is basically the same thing as a sunset. Just… you know—” Jeongguk’s free hand makes a nonsensical spinning motion. “—in reverse.”

He shoots a furtive glance towards his boyfriend. Taehyung doesn’t get it. Or, judging by the blank look Taehyung is levelling at Jeongguk, he totally gets it but doesn’t care. Jeongguk’s shit does not fly; Taehyung is implementing a no bullshit zone.

“ _Babe_ ,” Jeongguk drawls as he turns the gas cooker around like the back might hold all the answers, the whine in his voice grating even on his own ears. “Sunrises are so—” his eyebrows knit together in figurative pain. “So _early_.”

“Ye _p_ ,” Taehyung easily agrees, a type of chipper-ness lacing his deep timbre that brokers no argument. “Five-ish in the morning.”

“ _Five?!_ ” Just the mere idea of having to be up at that time physically aches. “But we’ve watched the sunrise before, remember? Like after Hoseok hyung’s birthday. We got so fucked we didn’t get back until noon and had to go straight to class.” Jeongguk sighs wistfully. He’d been so hangover he threw up into the hair of the poor girl sitting in front of him during _Exploring Music Psychology_. Best and worst of times.

“But we were piss-drunk every time, Gukkie,” Taehyung easily waves off his protests. Then he smiles, the kind of smile where his boxy grin spreads out so wide his eyes seem to completely disappear into crescents, and Jeongguk knows he’s lost this battle. Who is he kidding? He never even stood a chance. Taehyung is Taehyung and Jeongguk is easy for Taehyung. So fucking easy. “Trust me, babe. It’s gonna be _amazing_.”

“Right,” Jeongguk mutters under his breath, about two seconds away of smashing the uncooperative piece of metal he’s still clutching on the ground. “ _Amazing_.”

Fiddling with the little metal handles, Jeongguk’s gaze flickers between the thing in his hands and the manual he just dug up from within the box as he plays a disconcerting game of spot the difference. The fact he actual finds one is what worries him most.

Taehyung moves fitfully on his side, probably borderline famished considering it’s been hours since his last junk food intake. “What’s wrong?”

“The cooker,” Jeongguk says, making one last unsuccessful attempt at trying to fit the gas bottle in the misshaped holder. “I think we bought a dud.”

There’s nothing but eerie silence and Jeongguk quickly glances to his side, just to make sure his boyfriend hasn’t succumbed to shock.

“Oh my God,” Taehyung whispers, eyes wide in horrified realization. “Jimin was right. We’re going to _die_. We’re gonna _starve,_ Gukkie.”

Jeongguk stares forlornly at a pot of water that was just never destined to cook his noodles. The man-pain is real. He eventually snorts and stuffs a block of uncooked ramen in his boyfriend’s still gaping mouth. “Don’t worry about it. We’ll die in a trot-induced car crash before we ever get to that point.”

It earns him a bruise on his shoulder that will stay there for the rest of their trip. Totally worth it. Jeongguk wears it with pride.

And that’s how they, on the very first evening of their camping trip, discovered they broke number 1 of the universal rules of camping by:

**_Not Testing All the Equipment Beforehand._ **

 

 


	3. Underestimating the Importance of Lighting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> World meets boys.

Taehyung loathes to admit it, but maybe Seokjin and Jimin had a point. There’s a certain charm to a proper camp site; one with actual toilets and running water. Jeongguk had insisted on going somewhere with more people after Taehyung thought he’d felt something touch his foot last night and made Jeongguk turn the entire tent upside down to ensure nothing was trying to chew off his toe.

Jeongguk had not been amused.

That had not been the only setback. Taehyung hadn’t woken up until eight in spite of being _beyond_ certain he’d set the alarm for sunrise, finding Jeongguk sleeping soundly beside him with smugness practically dripping out of every pore. It’s late in the evening now and Taehyung still doesn’t know if he feels cheated or proud his bad ways have rubbed off on Jeongguk. Mostly he feels like a sad victim of irony.

Taehyung zips open the pink atrocity that they’re inhabiting, greeted by the sight of a bare torso bathing in the soft light of a lava lamp, and promptly decides Jeongguk is forgiven. It’s unreasonably hard to stay mad in the presence of so much naked skin. And let’s be real, Taehyung must have saved the country in a previous life because…  _damn_. Taehyung quickly stumbles forward, the pull of Jeongguk’s boxer-clad body nothing short of magnetic.

“You’re back.” Jeongguk tosses the phone he’d been engrossed in off to the side. “I was about to send out a search party.”

“I found a horse,” Taehyung says like that should explain everything and Jeongguk snorts because to him it probably does. Pulling blankets out of the way, Taehyung eagerly makes a bed for himself against Jeongguk’s side, head coming to rest in the crook of Jeongguk’s shoulder. Taehyung pulls his _iPhone_ out of his pyjama bottoms and flicks open the photo gallery with an ease that can only come from rigorous selfie-taking. “I’ll show ya.”

The first image is a scary close-up of a horse living in a field next to the campgrounds and Taehyung’s own smiling face. The next picture isn’t much of an improvement. Taehyung creases his forehead. Hector is clearly even less photogenic as he had first thought.

“Charming,” Jeongguk snickers. His chest shakes beneath Taehyung with barely contained amusement. “So which one is the horse?”

Taehyung elbows him in the stomach but it has little effect. Bloody Jeongguk and his abs of steel. “Hector possesses a kind of quiet handsomeness that’s hard to capture on film.”

More of Jeongguk’s snickering. “And what’s your excuse?”

Taehyung elbows him again; this time no more effective than it was the last. Although it would probably help if he put some actual force into it.

“People have written poetry about this face, dedicated _songs_ to my beauty spots.” Taehyung’s mouth twist into a self-satisfied grin. “You should know. You’re one of them.” Jeongguk cringes beneath him and Taehyung’s grin widens. It’s been ages since he found that piece of crumbled up paper at the bottom of Jeongguk’s bag but Jeongguk better not think he’s ever going to let him live that shit down.

“ _Jesus_ ,” Jeongguk curses with a long-suffering sigh. “You’re never gonna let that go, are you?”

“You bet your fine ass I won’t.”

Cue the agonized, tortured moan. Taehyung quite likes that moan.

Scrolling backwards through his gallery, Taehyung sees images of him and Jeongguk flashing across the screen. One of Jeongguk with hamster cheeks after stuffing his mouth full of street food at the night market of the village they accidently stumbled upon and decided to explore. One of Jeongguk looking artistic as fuck with his huge-ass camera. It’s one of the biggest purchases Taehyung has ever made — even thought he’d only known Jeongguk for five months at that time, dated him for two, and all his friends called him an idiot for it. But Taehyung doesn’t feel like an idiot when he’s watching Jeongguk fiddle with his lens or look for the right light, brows furrowed up in concentration and lips pursed.

“Why are you always taking pictures like that?”

“‘Cause you’re cute, Gukkie.”

There’s a protesting grumble that convinces no one, least of all Taehyung.

The next image is of Taehyung with a butterfly painted on one side of his face because the sign had said three and over and Taehyung _technically_ fits that age group (even if he was the only customer above twelve that day), so Jeongguk and his embarrassed groans could go and suck it.

“Do you even know how to adult?”

Taehyung never cared much for adulthood and the restrictions that seems to imply and he isn’t about to start. “I looked pretty.”

Again the snickering. But it’s followed by a soft kiss placed on the crown of Taehyung’s head. “Of course you did.”

Taehyung feels his chest constrict almost painfully. But it’s the good kind of ache. The sweet kind.

There’s a picture of them wearing silly hats. Another of them eating ice-cream with chunks of real strawberries that Jeongguk had bought for them. One of them eating regular strawberry ice-cream Jeongguk had also bought for them before they discovered the better strawberry ice-cream down the road. Because, _seriously_ , if Taehyung had known there was a superior ice-cream shop in the area would he not have gone there in the first place and was Jeongguk really going to deny him award-winning strawberry ice-cream? Insert pouty face.

After that there are only a handful of images left (mostly of a puppy they met at a convenience store and Taehyung proceeded to coo over for almost half an hour until Jeongguk finally managed to drag him away) before the pictures start to show the familiar sights of home.

Taehyung thumbs back to linger over a picture of Jeongguk and the dog, having a tough time deciding which one is more adorable, and sighs contently. “Today was a good day.”

“Yeah,” Jeongguk agrees is a warm voice, fingers carding through Taehyung’s hair. “It was.”

Something pools in the pit of Taehyung’s belly in response to the affection sewn into Jeongguk’s words. Something warm and heated and lustful. Definitely lustful, Jeongguk isn’t wearing a shirt, after all. Phone forgotten, Taehyung swings a leg over Jeongguk’s waist, straddling his hips, and is briefly in awe of the wondrous landscape of lean muscle lying beneath him. He tilts his head playfully and drops his voice to raspy pitch, “You want to make it a good night too?”

The shameless hunger that flickers across Jeongguk’s face speaks volumes. “I’m willing to try.”

Taehyung lifts his arms into the sky, nose high up in the air, the oversized t-shirt he’s stolen off Jeongguk to sleep in fanning out to the sides with what he likes to think of as dramatic flair. “Strip me,” he demands.

Laughter immediately bubbles up from Jeongguk’s chest, the sounds twirling in the air almost as prettily as when Jeongguk sings. Taehyung laughs along with him, feeling the corners of his mouth pull back in his signature boxy grin.

“I swear,” Jeongguk says, still grinning but obligingly pulling off Taehyung’s shirt, “you’re the laziest fucker I know.”

Taehyung would be lying if he said he doesn’t feel a little offended by that statement because he knows Jeongguk knows Yoongi. And no one who’s met Yoongi can righteously call Taehyung lazy. “You lie,” he accuses.

Jeongguk shrugs unapologetically, muscles rippling in that way that makes Taehyung hunger. In a way that makes Taehyung suspect it’s not entirely accidental. “Does that mean you’ll top?”

Taehyung’s gut tightens with interest, more heat blossoming and scorching his insides with desire. “You want me to top?”

“If you’re up for it.” A teasing challenge dances in the dark pools of Jeongguk’s eyes, lips curled up in a smirk. “Just remember it costs a lot more energy to be on top instead of just lying there as you take a good dicking.”

 _Christ._ Taehyung briefly wonders if maybe Jimin was right when he said Jeongguk is turning into an evil little brat. Then he takes in the mischief etched in every line making up Jeongguk’s body and Taehyung no longer wonders, he _knows_ Jimin was right. But _fuck_ , Taehyung can’t help but love it. He can't help but love Jeongguk.

Also, _fuck_ Jeongguk. Like literally. Jeongguk might be a little shit but Taehyung is the king of little shits and he will not be usurped.

So Taehyung huffs haughtily and brushes his slightly too long hair back from his face. “Hope you know what you’re getting yourself into.”

Jeongguk’s eyes twinkle, a kind of raw happiness at seeing Taehyung play along. But then again, when does Taehyung not? He’s usually the one to start their little two-man shitshow. “And what’s that exactly?” Jeongguk asks, tone still teasing.

Taehyung places his hands on Jeongguk’s chest and leans closer, for a second so distracted by Jeongguk’s lips so close to his that he almost forgets he’s trying to be funny. Rolling his hips into Jeongguk with unabashed innuendo, he’s pleased to find they’re both already sensitive enough for the motion to make them shiver. “Best seven seconds of your life, babe,” Taehyung promises in his best porn voice.

Taehyung barely manages to stay up right when Jeongguk’s chest cracks up with another wave of giggles, jostling the grip of Taehyung’s hands. It’s the kind of uninhibited laughing that scrunches up his nose and exposes slightly too large front teeth that Jeongguk feels self-conscious about but Taehyung adores. It’s the kind of laughing only ever directed at Taehyung. It shakes straight into Taehyung’s bones until he’s laughing too.

“I think you mean seven minutes, Tae,” Jeongguk says between hiccupped laughter. He cradles Taehyung’s ass, thumbs drawing little circles as he guides Taehyung’s hips into another roll, the friction between them making Taehyung’s nerve endings sing. “Or I sure hope you do.”

“Well, tough shit, Gukkie.” Taehyung spreads his legs further and moves his hips down in a well-placed grind that makes him groan and Jeongguk hiss appreciatively, the pleasure from his crotch tingling all the way up to his fingertips which are digging into Jeongguk’s shoulders. They are both so hard already, so eager for each other it scares Taehyung at times. “Apparently I’m a lazy fucker, so you’ll just have to make do.”

“You can’t even get my sweats off in seven seconds.”    

Taehyung drags two long fingers down Jeongguk’s chest, sliding between the hard dips of Jeongguk’s stomach with a touch just light enough to make Jeongguk’s skin erupt with goose bumps, and eventually hooking the tips in the fabric he finds hanging low on Jeongguk’s hips. He winks, purposefully licking his lips in a manner that has Jeongguk watching the movement with dark eyes. “Good thing you’re just wearing boxers then.”

“Easy access,” Jeongguk says, a hoarse quality to his voice that lets Taehyung know his touch isn’t without its desired effect, “‘cause I know you’re thirsty for it.”

“For you?” Taehyung finally dips his head down, captures Jeongguk’s earlobe between his teeth before whispering in his ear with a breathy low voice he knows drives Jeongguk mad, “ _Always._ ”

Jeongguk’s hips immediately buck up in a needy push, his head turning to capture Taehyung’s lips with his own. Jeongguk kisses him better. Even on their worst days, Jeongguk kisses him better than anyone else ever could. There’s a hunger, an uninhibited want, hiding between Jeongguk’s lips that makes Taehyung's head spin with pleasure. Jeongguk’s kisses taste the sweetest; an undercurrent of languid contentment on some days, feverish exhilaration on others, but with the spice of addiction lining his tongue every single time.

It's not something Taehyung is capable of resisting. It's not something Taehyung wants to resist.

Trailing a feather light path, Taehyung strokes his finger pads just along the inside of Jeongguk’s waist band, gauding Jeongguk. Another needy buck, Jeongguk’s abdominal muscles doing the most marvellous dance in the dappled illumination of the lava lamp, and then a harsh nip on Taehyung’s bottom lip.

“You’re such a tease,” Jeongguk accuses with a groan, voice torn between impatience and masochistic enjoyment, as he brusquely tugs Taehyung’s pants down.

Now it’s Taehyung’s turn to snicker, dark vibrations dancing across Jeongguk’s skin as Taehyung decorates the sharp cut of his jaw and column of his neck with kisses. “So needy.”

But Taehyung agreeably kicks off his pants, the colours of his own want shining through. Jeongguk’s fingers are on his ass, kneading the naked globed, urging him on. Lust curls and licks through his veins like fire. He palms Jeongguk through his boxers, feeling the weight, the hardness, and experiences a surging thrill at being the cause of it all. Taehyung squeezes him gently. Gentle enough for it to be just short of anything satisfactory.

“Fuck, Tae,” Jeongguk admonishes, syllables strained. “Just take it off already.”

Taehyung would feel bad, but there’s just too much satisfaction to be found in seeing Jeongguk unravel underneath his hands. Jeongguk, wanting Taehyung so much he physically trembles, is without compare. So Taehyung slowly peels the now damp fabric off, until it’s so low that an irritable Jeongguk takes matters in his own hands and swiftly kicks it off.

Smirking at Jeongguk's impatience, Taehyung curls his elegant fingers around Jeongguk’s now exposed cock. He makes a show of thumbing at the slit, wiping the bead of pre-come off and slicking it down in one tentative stroke. The sight of his large hand wrapped around Jeongguk makes heat coil in the pit of his stomach. He releases his hold, hearing Jeongguk respond with a plaintive mewl, and sits back on his haunches between Jeongguk’s legs.

“It’s dry, Gukkie.” Taehyung strokes the inside of Jeongguk’s thighs with hands that worship. “I don’t wanna hurt you.”

Jeongguk sits up on one elbow, pulls out the lube and a condom from one of bags behind his head, flicking both on the mattress. Taehyung guffaws with glee at the spectacle, sounds still hoarse with desire but strangely child-like in it’s unabashed mirth. “Fuck. Where did you even get a container that massive?”

“The bloody drug store. I told you that already.” Jeongguk’s cheeks take on a pink flush that just makes Taehyung want to kiss him even more. “It’s cheaper in the long run.”

“It’s ambitious for just one week of camping, that’s what it is.” Taehyung sends Jeongguk a lascivious wink. “But I’m feeling up to the challenge.”

“You’re an idiot,” Jeongguk mumbles, but it quickly devolves into a groan when Taehyung drags a suggestive finger down the cleft of his ass. And Taehyung caught the flicker in his eyes, because Jeongguk is nothing if not competitive. Set Jeongguk a challenge and watch him move.

Eager to work him up even more, Taehyung kisses Jeongguk everywhere he can reach. Jeongguk is left shimmering as Taehyung trails wet kisses down his sternum and between the hard ridges of his abs. Dips his tongue in Jeongguk’s navel and revels in Jeongguk’s laboured breathing. All the while, Taehyung caresses Jeongguk everywhere but where he needs it most, thumbs teasing over the sensitive dips between Jeongguk’s hips and lower stomach.

Taehyung drags his nose down Jeongguk’s happy trail and basks in the scent he finds there. It’s faint after Jeongguk’s recent shower but no less musky and intoxicating and more than capable of making the blood rush in Taehyung’s ears. After a breathy plea of his name on Jeongguk's part, Taehyung finally takes him in his mouth, his heart skipping a beat before it continues in the erratic rhythm of frenzied hunger upon hearing Jeongguk’s breath catch. Jeongguk tastes salty and slightly bitter but Taehyung’s loves the headiness of it on his palate. He bobs his head up and down and swirls his tongue around it in pleasure.

With the gift of experience, Taehyung unseeingly pours lube on his fingers and slips a single finger in Jeongguk’s body. Jeongguk immediately rocks upwards at the invasion, his cock hitting the back of Taehyung’s mouth and making Taehyung’s eyes water. One hand on Jeongguk’s hip to steady him, Taehyung pushes deeper into Jeongguk’s heat, grazing his insides, crooking his finger until he finds the sensitive bundle of nerves that makes Jeongguk quiver. Jeongguk’s subsequent moans are like a drug.

Spurred on by the wrecked sounds, Taehyung continues bobbing his head in a leisurely rhythm as he works Jeongguk open. His own body starts to feel hot all over, and every second makes his own cock ache more with neglect, but having Jeongguk clutch at his hair like Taehyung is the start and end of Jeongguk’s existence makes it all worth it.

It’s at the second finger when Jeongguk shows his every present passion for more.  “ _Jesus_ , babe,” Jeongguk grunts. “Are you gonna - _ngh_ \- fuck me, or what?”

Jeongguk always want too much, too fast, too soon. Always pushing himself, always eager for more until Taehyung fears Jeongguk will push himself too far, his own ambition consuming and subsequently ruining him.

Taehyung lets Jeongguk’s cock slip from his mouth because he catches Jeongguk’s hidden worry; Jeongguk doesn’t want to come before Taehyung has him filled up, legs tangled, fingers pulling, teeth nipping at each other’s skin, lips finding each other over and over again. Slipping a third finger in, Taehyung admires Jeongguk’s beauty with hooded eyes; the sweat-slick expanse of Jeongguk’s body, the heady flush of his skin, the heavy breathing, and the gut-wrenching affection painted in Jeongguk’s features. Taehyung burns and wants and _loves_.

Taehyung removes his fingers, putting on a condom with shaky hands, Jeongguk’s dark gaze sending shivers down his back. Because even after being together for over a year Jeongguk still manages to get him off kilter by just by being near. 

When Taehyung finally enters Jeongguk in a steady thrust, Taehyung makes sure to lock eyes, to kiss the corner of Jeongguk’s mouth and whisper sweet nothings in his ears. Because Taehyung knows. He knows how scared Jeongguk sometimes is of the depth of his own feelings, this crazy consuming addiction they have to each other. And he knows how Jeongguk gets insecure sometimes, remembers the shy and awkward boy Jeongguk was when they first met, and how he sometimes still struggles with Taehyung’s tactile nature when it’s bestowed on others, Taehyung’s propensity to call everyone a friend.

Taehyung knows how Jeongguk sometimes forget Taehyung is just as weak, maybe even weaker, for Jeongguk than he is in return.

There’s a catch in Jeongguk’s breath as Taehyung bottoms out and Taehyung tries to swallow it, presses their lips together with need. Jeongguk is hot and tight and perfect around him and Taehyung can already feel his orgasm coil in his lower stomach like white heat. He should have waited. He should have taken the edge off for both of them so this could have been slow and deep and everything he wants Jeongguk to have.

But Jeongguk had been impatient and Taehyung hadn’t been any better because he burns and he wants and he _loves_.

Taehyung tries to go slow, tries to give Jeongguk time to adjust. He rolls his hips in a steady rhythm, mesmerised by how the mottled light catches on Jeongguk’s glistening skin in the strangest and most wonderful patterns, pleasure blooming up from wherever they make contact.

But Jeongguk rolls his head back and groans, the sound searing through Taehyung, “Feels so - _ah_ \- good, Tae. So good. More.”  

Suddenly slow is a concept without meaning.

Taehyung pushes into Jeongguk hard and deep instead, wraps his still lube-coated hand around Jeongguk’s cock until Jeongguk bats him away to tug at it himself, giving Taehyung more chance to find purchase. Jeongguk is perfect. How he pulses around Taehyung in the most mind-numbing way as Taehyung licks into the salty valley of his collarbone, moans right below Jeongguk’s ear in the deep baritone he knows Jeongguk loves.

The white heat keeps growing as Jeongguk’s strong thighs hold him close like he never wants Taehyung to leave. As Jeongguk looks up at him with world of feelings buried in his dark round eyes. A world Taehyung wants to live in forever.

Their sounds are subdued, muted as they try and be mindful of the fact the only thing separating them from the outside world is a thin sheet of fabric. A notion that only makes desire burn even hotter as Taehyung chases something only Jeongguk can give him, legs tangled, fingers pulling, teeth nipping at each other’s skin, lips finding each other over and over again.

And Jeongguk is so close. Taehyung can tell by the sharp gasps tumbling past his lips, the sweat beading down his skin, the manner in which Jeongguk clutches at his back desperate for that final push. So Taehyung leans in, sucks at his earlobe and moans, “Come on, babe. Make me feel it.”

The sharp vice of Jeongguk constricting around Taehyung makes him want to sob, Jeongguk painting both of their stomachs with his release. The sight of Jeongguk’s eyes scrunched up in ecstasy and his bottom lip white as he bites it to keep from moaning out his pleasure are enough to make the coil of white heat in Taehyung's stomach finally spring free, ripping through every fibre of his being.

Taehyung’s hips stutter back and forth three more times as he fills up the condom before he lets himself slump down over Jeongguk, not minding the mess and knowing Jeongguk can carry the weight. As the hot flash of his orgasm recedes, leaving behind a mellow haze in its wake, Taehyung thinks there is nothing better than the feeling of Jeongguk all around him. Jeongguk who feels like home even when they’re in a crappy neon pink tent at the other side of the country. Jeongguk whose chest moves in perfect sync with Taehyung’s, their heart rate and breathing gradually returning to normal.

Jeongguk is perfect.

“Ugh. You’re all sticky.” Jeongguk pokes his side with a finger, finding Taehyung’s weak spot right between his ribs. “Get off me.”

Jeongguk is so far from perfect.

Taehyung pushes himself up, muscles still a little shaky, holds the condom at the base and pulls out. Two sets of soft moans fill the air. It couldn’t have waited any longer but Taehyung can’t shake off the slight tinge of regret. They only use them when they have to but they’d both decided condoms would make for an easy clean up while camping.

Taehyung is already thinking of a hundred scenarios in which he could convince Jeongguk to forgo them.

Grabbing the first piece of fabric he spots, Taehyung wipes down both himself and Jeongguk, trying the salvage as much as he can of the sheets they’re supposed to sleep in for the rest of the camping trip.

“Did you just use my shirt?”

Taehyung glances down at his hand and spots an XXXL tag sticking out at the side. Fuck. “I bought you, like—” Taehyung flicks his hand up as if he’s randomly pulling a number out of thin air “—ten of those just last week.”

“That was because you turned all my stuff pink in the washer!”

Hmm, right. Jeongguk has a point but Taehyung refuses to give in that easily and flashes Jeongguk his cutest grin. “You look hot in pink, babe.”

Jeongguk rolls his eyes so overdramatically, Taehyung thinks he can almost hear it. “I refuse to take fashion advice from someone who wears socks in sandals.”

Taehyung loves it when Jeongguk pretends he’d ever be capable of resisting the crazy sex appeal that is Kim Taehyung in his favourite comfy footwear. He cheekily raises one eyebrow. “You know I make it work.”

Jeongguk huffs, but amusement is already colouring the edges. “No one makes it work, babe.”

“Don’t lie. I know they turn you on.”

“You’re an idiot,” Jeongguk says, but that’s okay. Taehyung gets called an idiot on a regular basis by more people than he thinks is strictly called for but no one utters the insult with quite the amount of adoration as Jeongguk does. Feeling wonderfully lazy himself, Taehyung watches with disbelieving eyes how Jeongguk groans and sits up until he’s reclining on both hands. “I’m gonna go take a shower again.”

“What? No!” Taehyung trashes his legs a little in protest. “We already took a shower. Come lie in the evidence of our filthy love with me.”

“God, you’re disgusting.” Jeongguk casts him a judgemental look, but it’s a mere second before he falls back down with a tired sigh. Seemingly aware of how easily he was swayed with a pathetically small amount of effort on Taehyung’s part, he adds, “We’re both disgusting.”

“Yes,” Taehyung agrees with a purr, huddling closer. “Practically soulmates. Made for each other.” He’s content to lie side by side long enough to make their eyelids droop until his cooled down body reminds him he wants to be closer. Taehyung starts pushing incessantly at Jeongguk’s shoulder. “Turn around.”

“Why?”

“‘Cause I wanna spoon.”

“You turn around then.”

“ _Gukkie_ ,” Taehyung drawls, making sure to add the necessary nerve grating whine. “ _I_ wanna be the big spoon for once.”

Jeongguk wrinkles his nose in annoyance but eventually caves, turning around. The sigh that escapes his mouth as he does it sounds so tormented, it is as if Taehyung accidently turned his clothing pink all over again.

Smiling smugly, Taehyung lazily glues himself to Jeongguk’s back, limbs folding protectively over his prize. He burrows his face into the wide expanse of Jeongguk’s shoulders, placing a grateful kiss in the hollow between his shoulder blades. It’s salty and they do need a shower but Taehyung doesn’t care. He never cared less. “You’re the best boyfriend ever,” he mumbles into the skin.  

Taehyung feels more than hears Jeongguk snort, slightly mocking but in that special fond way, voice swaying with sleep, “And you’re the worst.”

Taehyung grins lethargically and kisses him again. Then he licks a fat stripe up Jeongguk’s skin, just for good measure, because they’re both little shits and Taehyung is still king.

*

The atmosphere is _funny_ when Taehyung goes out to take a shower the next morning. It’s not like he isn’t used to people staring at him because a) he’s handsome as fuck and b) he usually looks like he got dressed in the dark at a carnival store. But still, not even his white socks in sandals should earn him this many badly covered up smirks and excited whispering.

An elderly gentleman shoots him a dirty look as Taehyung steps over the threshold of the men’s bathroom and he almost falls ass over tits when he’s too busy staring back in childlike confusion instead of watching where he’s going. In his defence, Taehyung is caught a little off guard because, _come on_ , who could he have possibly offended this early in the morning? He rolled out of bed —or off the crappy camping mattress— like seven seconds ago.

A firm grip on his arm saves the splendour that Kim Taehyung likes to call his face and drags him up until he’s secure on his feet again. Taehyung finds himself staring into the grinning face of a short and muscular man. His physique reminds Taehyung a little of Jimin so Taehyung instantly likes him (as is in accordance with the unwritten rules of best bromanship).

“You okay there?”

Before Taehyung has the chance to reply the man’s eyes widen comically after which he swivels his head just far enough to make eye contact with his companion. The companion in question being an excessively handsome guy with slender limbs and a coy smile. He looks like a fairy and Taehyung slightly cranes his neck to see if he isn’t hiding sparkly wings under that shirt. Just in case, you know, since Taehyung has never quite given up hope on one day meeting a magical creature.

The shorter man excitedly points in Taehyung’s direction, voice loud, “It’s him, isn’t it? The pink tent?”

The corners of the tall guy’s lips lift up with light amusement. “I think so,” he says, while zipping up his toiletry bag.

The Jimin substitute turns back to Taehyung with a shit-eating grin. “I’m Jackson.” He points at the tall fairy. “This is Mark.” His grin then widens so far it looks like his face will split in half. “And you had a good night last night.”

Taehyung is officially confused. Confused but strangely flattered at the amount of attention he’s receiving mere minutes into his day. Maybe it is the socks in sandals working their magic. Also, he’s feeling like he’s just been given a pop quiz in a course he doesn’t remember signing up for in a language he doesn’t really understand. He wonders if this is what Yoongi means whenever he complains about having to translate what he calls _Tae Talk_ every time Taehyung speaks. Taehyung eventually settles on an affirmative, “Yes.”

Because _God_ yes, he did have a good night. There had been sex, there had been cuddling, and after a little wheedling on his part, Taehyung even got to be the big spoon. He mirrors Jackson’s wide grin. “A very good night.”

Jackson pats him on the shoulder like they’ve been friends since birth and didn’t just meet in a bathroom where Taehyung almost face-planted on the cement. Taehyung is two seconds away from inviting them for a barbeque. On _their_ gas cooker, of course.

“That was _quite_ the show,” Jackson says, voice laden with innuendo.

Taehyung can swear he’s had this exact conversation with Jimin back when they still shared a dorm and he accidently walked in on Taehyung and Jeongguk. One of the several times he accidently walked in on them, courtesy of Taehyung getting lost in the moment _always_ and much to Jimin’s everlasting despair. Jimin just sounded way _way_ less amused. But Taehyung is quite sure this Jackson guy never walked in on him and Jeongguk (almost a hundred percent sure in fact), so he turns to the fairy for further guidance.

“Leaving your lights on in a tent,” Mark explains with twinkling eyes. “It’s the kind of thing that’s very _illuminating_ for your neighbours.”

And that’s how Taehyung discovers he and Jeongguk fell face first into the trap of yet another common camping mistake:

**_Underestimating the Importance of Lighting._ **

 

 


	4. Picking the Wrong Tent

“Fuck,” Jeongguk curses under his breath, as he almost trips over a tension line of one of the many tents littering the wide expanse of grass he’s attempting to navigate across. _Again._ Of course there’s an easy solution for his current predicament of nearly breaking his neck every four seconds. Phone flashlight. Jeongguk is pretty sure the app even come preinstalled on many smartphones these days.

But Jeongguk stubbornly refuses. He fucking refuses to use flashlights (and especially lava lamps) for this rest of this godforsaken camping trip after unintentionally broadcasting his sex-life in real-time last night. On a camp site that’s about two hundred kilometres away from where he’s currently stumbling around in the dark because, in addition to relinquishing the use of after-sunset-illumination, Jeongguk had demanded they drive to the other side of the planet to escape his very potent embarrassment. But Taehyung, always less plagued by notions such as shame and leaning more towards shameless infamy, wouldn’t get back in the car for a second longer after hitting the two hundred kilometres mark and although it’s not as far Jeongguk would have liked, he’d had to make do.

Has Jeongguk mentioned he’s easy for Taehyung?

Jeongguk breathes a sigh of relieve when he finally spots their tent. Their shoddy tent assembling skills is hard to miss and neither is the gaudy pink colour that seems to blind his eyes even in the pitch black of night. Still, it’s a welcome sight after walking back half a soccer field after his toilet visit. The idea of the warm body waiting for him inside is even better.

It’s a bloody inconvenience to camp so far away from the toilets, Jeongguk thinks, squatting down and zipping open their tent as quietly as possible. He really hates his strong sense of smell sometimes because he can't stand to be close to them. And performing midnight hikes to deliberately far away toilets that have no toilet paper in half the cases except for the rivers of too thin paper covering the floor. He hates those too.

And lava lamps. Jeongguk really _really_ hates lava lamps. He should have just chucked Taehyung’s out of the car window. Or never taken it with them from the scene of the crime to begin with. As soon as he thinks it, he’s plagued by images of Taehyung turning to face him with betrayal painted in shimmering dark orbs and his full bottom lip trembling in a pout. Because Taehyung forms unhealthy attachments to some of his belongings. Especially the ones that are useless, ugly, or a combination of both.

Jeongguk carefully lies down next to a dark silhouette bundled under a sheet. Maybe he’ll just settle for pulling the batteries out of the lamp when Taehyung isn’t looking.     

Jeongguk has mentioned, hasn’t he? About being easy?

Turning on his side, Jeongguk feels the corners of his mouth tug up in a fond smile. Taehyung never runs as hot as Jeongguk does, only he would wrap himself up in a sheet on a warm summer night as this. For purely altruistic reasons, in no way related to the pleasure that comes with feeling up his boyfriend, Jeongguk inches forward, slipping a hand under the fabric.

It’s his keen sense of smell, the one he loves and hates in equal amounts, that gives him the first clue something might be off. His nose isn’t greeted by the strawberry shampoo Taehyung likes to wash his hair with, the one designed for kids that promises to not make you tear up, neither by the warm scent that’s just uniquely Taehyung. It’s something floral instead; something that makes Jeongguk want to sneeze.

And Taehyung might be smooth and soft to the touch beneath Jeongguk’s fingertips but there’s a decidedly less feminine curve to his hips than Jeongguk is feeling right now. His Taehyung is tall, slender, with sharp angles and flat planes in all the right places. A sudden dread starts to mount in Jeongguk’s chest, it’s weight scary and paralyzing.

A bloodcurdling scream confirms all of Jeongguk’s worst fears.

And that’s how Jeongguk ticks off number 3 on the list of epic rookie camping mistakes:

**_Picking the Wrong Tent._ **

 

 


	5. Buying Cheap Goods Instead of Quality

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to [JuliAlice](http://archiveofourown.org/users/JuliAlice/profile), otherwise known as [trash-can-child](http://trash-can-child.tumblr.com/) on tumblr.

Taehyung listens to soft rhythmic tapping of water on the roof of the car. It’s peaceful, soothing in a way only night-time rain can be, and one of those seemingly insignificant things that can still fill Taehyung’s chest with silent happiness. Taehyung loves the rain.

He glances at his side and finds on Jeongguk’s face a thundercloud that can easily outdo the summer rain outside. Jeongguk doesn’t love the rain. At least not tonight.

Taehyung sighs. It’s not that he doesn’t get it. He does. But he wishes Jeongguk would stop sulking and realise this evening has all the ingredients of one of those sappy romantic movies where the lead characters face off against nature and grow closer because of it. Maybe have sex surrounded by a hundred burning candles yet somehow manage to not set shit on fire. (Taehyung had sex in a sea of candles just once —just once!—  and almost burned his dorm down.)

The summer storm had caught them by surprise, as summer rains often do. It had been instant, drenching them to the bone, and strangely chilling in the almost never ceasing heat of summer. It had caught them off guard. But most importantly, it had caught their cheap-ass tent off guard. Their tent which didn’t seem to be waterproof. _At all_.

What had followed was a mad dash to get all their shit in the car and make a bed, all the while trying to keep everything relatively dry.

Fortunately, when you push the backseat down, NamDOOM’s got enough space in the back to moonlight as a hearse. Not a very romantic association, but what Taehyung would like to emphasize is that there’s enough space to lie down comfortably and maybe even on top of each other.

They did pretty well all things considered. They managed to stuff all their shit in the front seats, they squeezed their camping mattresses in the back before they got soaked, and they’d stripped of their sopping wet clothing in the confines of the car without getting water everywhere. Also, Taehyung had managed to stash the lube and condoms within easy reach because he likes to think of himself as a man with vision.

And now Taehyung is lying in one of the cosiest make-shift beds he’s ever had the pleasure of being in, next to his favourite person in the world. Even if that person is acting annoyingly butthurt. Luckily, Jeongguk is cute when he’s mopey because his plans didn’t work out the way he thought they would and he falls short of his own super boyfriend standards. Cute and just a little vulnerable.

Taehyung snuggles up to Jeongguk, ready to attack. “I don’t understand why we didn’t just ask Yoongi hyung for his van, anyway. Why a tent?”

Jeongguk whips his head around at lightning speed. Lips curving sideward into a wicked grin, Taehyung quickly digs his face into Jeongguk’s bicep to try and hide his amusement at riling his boyfriend up.

Jeongguk’s face scrunches up in a petulant pout. “That’s not funny.”

Taehyung snickers, hot breath tickling naked skin, but follows up with a barely-there kiss against Jeongguk’s shoulder meant to soften the blow. “It’s a little funny.”

When Jeongguk merely responds with silence and resolutely turns his face towards the ceiling, Taehyung huddles closer. One long leg is wrapped around Jeongguk’s waist as an arm sneaks up across his chest, and even though Taehyung suspects Jeongguk is still sorely tempted to kick him out of the car and into the rain, there’s no denying that Taehyung just fits there like he’s meant to be.

“I like the sound of the rain,” Taehyung whispers.

Jeongguk hums uncommittedly, the sound vibrating all the way down to the ends of Taehyung’s spine.

“It reminds me of the time we were supposed to be studying for exams but just listened to rain all afternoon instead,” Taehyung says as he seems to melt into Jeongguk’s side, nothing but lax limbs. To someone else it might have been imperceptible but Taehyung can sense Jeongguk softening at the shared memory. Taehyung is laying siege on Jeongguk’s salty mood and he can already spot victory on the horizon.

Jeongguk huffs but it’s unconvincing. “We bombed those exams.”

Taehyung’s lips curl up into a smile against Jeongguk’s skin. “Only a little.” Two slender fingers travel upwards of their own accord to gently toy with Jeongguk’s earring. The motion of affection is so familiar that Taehyung hardly realizes he’s doing it. “It was the first time we watched _Howl’s Moving Castle_ together. On that crappy single bed of yours.”

It was the first time one of them stayed over. The first time Jeongguk got to strip Taehyung of every piece of clothing. The first time Taehyung heard his own name fall of Jeongguk’s lips like a prayer.

Jeongguk’s breath audibly catches. Taehyung never does play fair and he takes no prisoners when it comes to their relationship. Jeongguk is too important for that. “This is like that but better. I’m really happy to be here with you, Gukkie. Listening to the rain.”

Jeongguk lets his head fall to the side and ends up so close to Taehyung that their noses are almost touching. There’s something incredibly open and gentle at the bottom of the dark orbs staring back at Taehyung, something Taehyung thinks he can no longer live without. And Taehyung wants to kiss Jeongguk’s nose, his face, his everything.

“If you think you might be losing, all that’s left is sabotage,” Jeongguk says in a low voice, a line he stole from Taehyung who is a proud chronic cheater when it comes to games. Taehyung is instantly aware Jeongguk knows. Jeongguk knows damn well Taehyung is trying to kneed him into pliability with sweet words and tender sentiments. But that gentle look shows Jeongguk doesn’t care.

Taehyung can feel a smile wash over his features like liquid sunshine, completely unashamed at being caught. “I love you.”

“You’re a fucking menace.”

“But you love me,” Taehyung singsongs, burying his face into the crook of Jeongguk’s neck like a cute and overgrown puppy.

Tilting his head back to the ceiling, Jeongguk groans, “I’m afraid so.” All agonized and fake and interwoven with affection.

Outside, the rain is still gently patting all over the car to nature’s beat, dancing along in speed to the rhythmic gusts of wind, and Jeongguk’s face seems to relax. Like he’s finally appreciating its beauty. The intimacy it provides.

Taehyung decides this is the time to strike. He comes in closer to nose along Jeongguk’s cheek, gauging his reaction when he brushes along the gash marring the skin there. A souvenir from climbing into the wrong tent that will probably leave a scar. It feels hot under the press of Taehyung’s lips as he attempts to kiss it better. Jeongguk’s had a rough week. Then he dips his head further down, lips barely brushing the corner of Jeongguk’s mouth, a blatant invitation for Jeongguk to turn his head and devour him.

It’s a plea that doesn’t go unnoticed. Jeongguk’s mouth becomes a hot heady press on his own as he rolls over Taehyung in slow sure movements. Taehyung’s knees bump against the too low ceiling of the car as he tries in vain to wrap his legs around Jeongguk’s waist, trying to bring the anchoring presence of hard muscle even closer. He settles for twisting his slender fingers in the still damp hair at Jeongguk’s nape, refusing to dry out in the high humidity of the car, as Jeongguk licks his way past the curve of Taehyung’s lips. 

Taehyung rakes his nails down the taut lines of Jeongguk’s back; revelling in the feel of the lean muscles shifting beneath his fingertips, the shiver that travels down the nobs of Jeongguk’s spine. He digs the blunt tips into Jeongguk’s side, just hard enough for Jeongguk to groan into their kiss and buck his hips into Taehyung’s, the stiffness of their cocks brushing against each other.

Jeongguk pulls back, breaking their kiss. His face hovering above Taehyung is a complex web of shadows only broken by two glittering dark crystals and lips that shimmer with Taehyung’s saliva. “We have no curtains, you know.”

“I know.” Taehyung can feel mischievousness flicker in his eyes like a flame but he lets it, hoping Jeongguk will catch fire. “But it’s raining. And we’re in the middle of nowhere because you vetoed camp sites for the rest of our trip.”

Jeongguk raises a questioning eyebrow but by now it’s merely an empty symbol of resistance. A hollow token of so called common sense. Because Taehyung can feel Jeongguk’s erection press into his thigh with need. “Are we really going to make the same mistake again?”

Taehyung sure hopes so.

“What can I say?” Taehyung waves his hands to the sides in a grand motion as if to acknowledge an imaginary audience outside the car windows. “People are dying for an encore.”

And Taehyung honestly doesn’t care. Because Jeongguk is giving him that soft look that he knows is just reserved for him and the slight possibility someone might walk by and see them is nothing but a chance that Taehyung is more than willing to take.

“Namjoon hyung is going to kill us.” But that’s not caution or remorse coating Jeongguk’s words, it’s anticipatory amusement.

Taehyung snickers, shooting Jeongguk a dirty wink. “He should have known better than lending us his car.”

“True that,” Jeongguk easily agrees as he dips down again to capture Taehyung’s lips with his own. Their bodies work in unison as their fingers tug off each other’s boxers, until every inch of them is naked and clammy and within reach. Their skin buzzes where it makes contact, slick with residual rain water and sweat, as they slide over each other in a desperate need for friction. 

Taehyung feels Jeongguk’s hand wander down, grabbing both of them in one hand and stroking upwards. Instant sparks of pleasure shoot up into the heat of Taehyung’s lower belly, fuelling the lust that’s crackling there.  It feels good, it feels mind-numbing, it feels like ecstasy. But it could still be so much better.

“I want to feel you inside of me, Gukkie,” Taehyung breathes into Jeongguk’s ear, his low voice brimming with want. The kind of raw want that has Jeongguk trembling above him. The hand on their cock moves downwards now, Taehyung involuntarily rocking into Jeongguk’s fist and mewling plaintively when he tries to wrap his legs around Jeongguk’s waist again only to be held back by the low ceiling of the car.

“There’s no fucking space,” Jeongguk counters in a pained voice. He moves his hand up again, the movement eased by their pre-come and the moisture still clinging to their skin from the rain, distracting Taehyung with hot flashes tingling up his spine.

With considerable effort, Taehyung bats Jeongguk’s hand away and rolls them both on their side. “Like this,” Taehyung explains, grabbing the lube and condoms from a nook in the car door. “Fuck me like this.”

Jeongguk responds with a searing kiss; messy with too much teeth but with the right kind of thunderous desire that matches Taehyung’s own. Jeongguk’s kiss is feverish, making the blood rush in Taehyung’s ear, and the grip on his thigh as Jeongguk hoists it over his hips proves just rough enough to make Taehyung moan into his mouth. Taehyung needs. Taehyung needs Jeongguk so fucking bad.

A shiver wrecks Taehyung’s frame when he hears the cap of the lube bottle pop open. His body trembling with anticipation. Jeongguk grips the globe of his ass, slipping a single slick finger inside, and Taehyung eagerly rocks back on it. He needs.  Curling his finger, Jeongguk grazes his insides until he finds the spot that makes Taehyung’s vision tunnel until he thinks he can see heaven.

“Fuck _-ngh-_ ,” Taehyung groans brokenly. His nails leave little crescent shaped on Jeongguk’s biceps as he closes his eyes and throws his head back. A mere taste of what is to come, yet it feels so good already. “More, Guk.” His request is throaty, voice wrecked even to his own ears.

“Touch yourself,” Jeongguk demands return, syllables gruff with want. Taehyung opens his eyes, taking in the vision before him. Jeongguk’s hair is already plastered to his face, a flush on his cheeks that seems to extend all the way down to his chest, eyes dark; so dark with rampant desire. Taehyung hears his heart pound in his ears like a drum, passion twisting in the pit of his stomach like a living thing.

Letting go of Jeongguk’s arm, Taehyung wraps a hand around his cock. Starts fisting himself in the most agonizingly slow rhythm as Jeongguk continues to work him open, pleasure attacking him from all sides. And Jeongguk’s gaze burns. It brands lines of heat down Taehyung’s form as Jeongguk’s eyes travel over every inch of his body.

“So fucking beautiful, Tae,” Jeongguk whispers almost reverently, breathing heavy, and Taehyung wants to preen with joy. Wetting his lips with his tongue instead, Taehyung moans shakily while Jeongguk pushes in a third finger, and slows the strokes around his cock down even further. Taehyung wants to drag it out. He wants to make it good. So, _so_ good.

They’re both covered in a sheen of sweat, breathing heavily, the car humid and hot and bordering on unbearable, but Taehyung doesn’t want to stop until they’ve suffocated in the smoke of their own explosion. Until they can’t take any more.

Jeongguk pulls his fingers out and Taehyung clasps his hand firmly around the base of his cock. He’s so on edge. But when Jeongguk moves closer, Taehyung still has the will power to place a hand on his chest to stop him.

“From behind,” Taehyung says by means of explanation, rolling onto his other side. “I want it deep.”

There are some muttered curses behind him followed by Jeongguk’s breath fanning out hotly over the sensitive skin at the nape of Taehyung’s neck. It takes too little time and entirely too much before Jeongguk has secured the condom over his cock and is sliding up behind Taehyung all hard planes of heat and dark promise.

Bracing one hand on the chair above his head, Taehyung hikes up his top leg to place a foot on the side of the car, giving Jeongguk easy access. There’s no warning, just the graze of Jeongguk’s teeth over a hickey just below his shoulder before Jeongguk pushes home, fills up the space in Taehyung that feels so empty ever since Jeongguk’s fingers left. Knocking the breath right out of Taehyung.

It’s pressure, the feeling of Jeongguk splitting him open in the best way. And then Jeongguk moves. Really moves. A slow rhythm that has Taehyung pushing back on every thrust. Because Jeongguk does go deep. Fucks him so deep it feels like Taehyung will never be able to get him fully out of his system again. Like he’s taking Taehyung apart, reknitting him whole again, and leaving part of him behind deep inside.  Like a brand on Taehyung’s heart.

Jeongguk angles his hips, hitting his prostrate on his next slide inside Taehyung’s body, making Taehyung see white and sob a helpless, “Right there. Right _-ah-_ there, Guk.” The grip of Jeongguk’s hip tightens, becomes bruising. Bound to leave marks. Taehyung can’t wait to dig his fingers into them, reliving the pleasure from this night in the days to come.

It’s hard to hear anything aside from Taehyung’s own laboured breathing, the moans and pleas for more that tumble past his lips unchecked. Jeongguk’s praise, the sweet nothings and words of encouragement, barely register. Jeongguk’s voice just washing over him like silky water.

The windows have gone foggy with their activities and it’s like they’re all alone, just Jeongguk inside of him with no way to tell where he ends and Taehyung begins and waves and waves of endless pleasure. But it can’t be infinite, and Jeongguk is there to remind him with cracked, “Touch _-ngh-_ touch yourself.”

Because his impending orgasm is coiling in Taehyung’s abdomen like a spring and judging by Jeongguk’s desperate sped up thrusts, he isn’t far behind. So Taehyung grabs his cock with his free hand, strokes it in perfect synchrony with Jeongguk moving inside of him, lets the combined touch push him closer to that edge that drops off into mindless ecstasy.

And when Jeongguk comes with a pained groan, muffled by Taehyung’s shoulder, Taehyung lets himself tumble right off. There are spots in his vision when Taehyung releases all over his lower stomach in sticky ropes, muscles contracting around Jeongguk as he in turns fills up the condom.

Taehyung feels like he’s floating, mind mellow and hazy, as Jeongguk thrusts into him a few more times before pulling out with a torturous graze over his now raw nerves. There’s a soothing kiss on his temple when he winces in complaint and Taehyung basks in it. He basks in the afterglow, body spent and sated, as Jeongguk cleans them both up with careful caresses.

It’s not long before Jeongguk has settled back in behind him, fingers carding through Taehyung’s hair in a rare copy of what Taehyung does to Jeongguk so often. Taehyung lets himself melt into the touch as he slowly works his way into his own body again, taking ownership back of his muscles that are left shaky in the wake of his orgasm.

When the overwhelming pleasure has finally receded, leaving merely a warm glow behind, Taehyung feeling himself again, his attention is captured by the misty glass right in front of him. Without hesitation Taehyung presses his large hand up to the foggy window, letting it slide down the wet surface and leaving a mark of clear glass in its wake.

“What are you doing?” Jeongguk sounds confused and Taehyung is perversely satisfied he’s still capable of harbouring a few mysteries.

Lowering his voice to a theatrical whisper, Taehyung says, “I’m making our own _Titanic_ , Gukkie.”

That seems to stun Jeongguk into silence. Right up until the moment he pipes up in a teasing tone, “As in we’re gonna crash into an iceberg and drown?”

Taehyung huffs. Annoying little shit. “As in we’re living the greatest romance of our time, babe.”

“Hmmm,” Jeongguk murmurs thoughtfully. “Is that why I feel—” there’s a dramatic pause and Taehyung fears the worst “— _king of the world_?”

Taehyung bites his lip so hard he thinks it might bleed but even that doesn’t stop him from dissolving into a fit of laughter. Behind him, he can feel Jeongguk’s rock solid abdomen ripple with the force of him giggling at his own lame ass pun. Fuck, they’re so stupid together.

When their bones finally stop shaking with hilarity, Jeongguk pulls Taehyung into his chest with an arm around his waist, placing a gentle kiss in the slope of his neck before hooking his chin over Taehyung’s shoulder. Contentment spreads outwards from the centre of Taehyung’s chest like a warm haze. It feels as if they watch countless drops of water splatter against the glass on the other side of Taehyung’s handprint, each drop making Taehyung sink deeper into Jeongguk’s embrace, until Jeongguk breaks the silence with a whispered, “I like listening to the rain too.”

Taehyung smiles, slotting his fingers between Jeongguk’s. It’s a perfect fit. “I know.”

And that is how the summer rain made them realise they made yet another camping mistake, although this one was more of a happy accident, by:

**_Buying Cheap Goods Instead of Quality._ **

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'd love to know what you think, good or bad, so please leave a comment!
> 
> Come scream with/at me on [tumblr](http://mirrerover.tumblr.com/)! I love to talk, even if my shoddy wifi makes it hard, so feel free to drop a message. 


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